what is feminism? we could go with the dictionary.com
definition of "1.Belief in the social, political, and economic equality
of the sexes." and "2. The movement organized around this belief." That
one's pretty good. though i might need specifics. it doesn't mention
how long my leg hair needs to be. (i'm thinking fresh stubble isn't
nearly long enough.)
there are those who will tell you what “real” feminism is. i am not one of them. because quite frankly, your feelings on pornography or prostitution or toiletry rituals or juno have precisely dickall to do with it. of course, most of us likely have strong opinions on them and myriad other things, but that’s not the point. the point is, if you believe that men and women are equals, and practice what you preach, then that’s “real” feminism, just as much as anything any Women’s Studies professor could teach you.
however. there is a breed of anti-feminism that is just as damaging (and probably moreso) than anything any nutjob preacher or woman-hating frat boy could do. this is because it is insidious. you’re not sure what you’re seeing until it’s too late, and by then you are so disillusioned you aren’t sure what to believe anymore. it’s what happens when you’re waiting for the enemy to strike, and the attack comes from your own side.
i’m talking about fake feminism. fauxminism, if you will. there is misogyny in our ranks, and i don’t like it.
you’ve probably even encountered it yourself. these are the women who would tote their feminism around with them like an adorable little accessory. look! i spell women with a “y” and call it “herstory” instead of “history”! i fuck everyone in sight! aren’t I so liberated, just like carrie bradshaw? i call my vagina “cunt”! god, aren’t I risqué? feminism is the new black, you know! grrls kick ass!
and while there’s nothing wrong with these things in and of themselves, when they come from women who would turn their backs on you and your experiences just because you aren’t a Women’s Studies major, aren’t pretty, are in a committed relationship, aren’t what fits into the box of “feminist”, refuse to be told what to think, then pardonnez-fucking-moi for getting a little bit irked. lingo does not a feminist make. if i tell you that you have a subdural hematoma and that we have to relieve the pressure on the corpus callosum, i’m not a goddamn neurosurgeon. the problem is when women get so caught up in the minutiae of what feminism is supposed to be that they forget the basic foundation of equality and respect. all the varnish in the world won’t cover up rotten wood.
feminism is, for me, really about respect of choice and circumstances. it’s not an exclusive club. it doesn’t matter if you’re passing the bar or working the pole. it doesn’t matter if you’re straight, gay, bi, or anything in between. it doesn’t matter if you’re single or married or divorced, with no kids or twenty. it doesn’t matter if you worship God, Allah, Stephen Colbert, or no one. it doesn’t matter if you’re in the cradle or one foot in the grave. hell, it doesn’t even matter if you’re male or female. though it’s been said many times, many ways, there is no set criteria, except for one very important thing: you believe that men and women are equal, and you act accordingly.
so even though i won’t tell you what real feminism is, i will tell you what real hypocrisy is. it is when a woman preaches to high heaven about sisterhood, and then ignores you when you’re talking about your experiences. it is when a woman talks all about women’s choices and then says, with disdain, “what do you mean, you’re keeping the baby?” it is when a woman goes on about how strong women are and then reduces them to a hole between their legs. it is when a woman champions free speech and then tells anyone who disagrees with them to keep their voice down. it is when a woman makes a movement started by women, for themselves and their mothers and daughters and those who had yet to be born all about them.
so i haven’t answered the original question. what is feminism? this is because i can’t answer it. but what is feminism for me?
there's the infamous Pat Robertson definition of "a socialist, anti-family, political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians." hmm. that's no good. i don't feel the least bit homosexual.
even once you get your definition nailed down, you’ve got your radical feminism, your liberal feminism, your Marxist feminism, your postfeminism, et cetera ad infinitum. so what is feminism?there are those who will tell you what “real” feminism is. i am not one of them. because quite frankly, your feelings on pornography or prostitution or toiletry rituals or juno have precisely dickall to do with it. of course, most of us likely have strong opinions on them and myriad other things, but that’s not the point. the point is, if you believe that men and women are equals, and practice what you preach, then that’s “real” feminism, just as much as anything any Women’s Studies professor could teach you.
however. there is a breed of anti-feminism that is just as damaging (and probably moreso) than anything any nutjob preacher or woman-hating frat boy could do. this is because it is insidious. you’re not sure what you’re seeing until it’s too late, and by then you are so disillusioned you aren’t sure what to believe anymore. it’s what happens when you’re waiting for the enemy to strike, and the attack comes from your own side.
i’m talking about fake feminism. fauxminism, if you will. there is misogyny in our ranks, and i don’t like it.
you’ve probably even encountered it yourself. these are the women who would tote their feminism around with them like an adorable little accessory. look! i spell women with a “y” and call it “herstory” instead of “history”! i fuck everyone in sight! aren’t I so liberated, just like carrie bradshaw? i call my vagina “cunt”! god, aren’t I risqué? feminism is the new black, you know! grrls kick ass!
and while there’s nothing wrong with these things in and of themselves, when they come from women who would turn their backs on you and your experiences just because you aren’t a Women’s Studies major, aren’t pretty, are in a committed relationship, aren’t what fits into the box of “feminist”, refuse to be told what to think, then pardonnez-fucking-moi for getting a little bit irked. lingo does not a feminist make. if i tell you that you have a subdural hematoma and that we have to relieve the pressure on the corpus callosum, i’m not a goddamn neurosurgeon. the problem is when women get so caught up in the minutiae of what feminism is supposed to be that they forget the basic foundation of equality and respect. all the varnish in the world won’t cover up rotten wood.
feminism is, for me, really about respect of choice and circumstances. it’s not an exclusive club. it doesn’t matter if you’re passing the bar or working the pole. it doesn’t matter if you’re straight, gay, bi, or anything in between. it doesn’t matter if you’re single or married or divorced, with no kids or twenty. it doesn’t matter if you worship God, Allah, Stephen Colbert, or no one. it doesn’t matter if you’re in the cradle or one foot in the grave. hell, it doesn’t even matter if you’re male or female. though it’s been said many times, many ways, there is no set criteria, except for one very important thing: you believe that men and women are equal, and you act accordingly.
so even though i won’t tell you what real feminism is, i will tell you what real hypocrisy is. it is when a woman preaches to high heaven about sisterhood, and then ignores you when you’re talking about your experiences. it is when a woman talks all about women’s choices and then says, with disdain, “what do you mean, you’re keeping the baby?” it is when a woman goes on about how strong women are and then reduces them to a hole between their legs. it is when a woman champions free speech and then tells anyone who disagrees with them to keep their voice down. it is when a woman makes a movement started by women, for themselves and their mothers and daughters and those who had yet to be born all about them.
so i haven’t answered the original question. what is feminism? this is because i can’t answer it. but what is feminism for me?
how about “it means that i believe what i believe without labels, and i won’t stand for oppression of someone just because they don’t agree with me, and that i respect men and other women as equals but call bullshit when i see it, and i will remain true to myself if it kills me”?
